Perhaps you want to stop hurting yourself but do not know how to begin or realise it will be really hard. It is possible to stop! Even making a little change in the right direction is important; go at your own pace, do as much or as little as you can. Stopping harming yourself is likely to involve both loss and fear. Many may not understand this, but in stopping you may feel that you risk losing any sense of control, or losing the means to express how you feel. And initially you may feel afraid that you will not be able to find any good and adequate alternatives. Talking to a counsellor is a good way of having some support while you take the risk to stop.
If you know someone who injures themselves
It is natural to feel upset, helpless, even angry about what your friend or relative is doing. Rather than being frightened, regard it as a way s/he uses to cope with the difficulties in their life. Of course you want your friend to stop the self injury but you cannot force them to stop. However, you can help:- by trying to understand how self injury makes your friend's life easier and being accepting of her/his felt need to do it
- by encouraging your friend to talk and listening sympathetically to the feelings involved
- by maintaining a balance in the friendship through sharing your own joys and worries too, as a friendship ceases to be that if it is all one way!
- by suggesting your friend calls if s/he feels upset or wants to hurt her/himself, but in doing so think about your own needs. You may be tired or have your own pressures. It is important to be able to say "no" under these circumstances
(published with permission in writing from:http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk)
