- Are you assuming that you know what will happen in the future?
- What evidence have you got that your fears are valid?
- Are you exaggerating the chance of something going wrong or minimising the possibility of your working it out fine?
- Are you spending time frightening yourself about situations that you aren't actually facing at present, and which may never happen?
Are you comparing yourself to others?
- Are you assuming that everyone else is doing fine except you, when you don't actually know how others are feeling or managing?
- Are you blaming yourself for things that you cannot control, or are not your responsibility?
Two examples of challenging irrational thinking
- Irrational: "I'll make a fool of myself in front of all these new people and they won't like me."
- Rational: "A lot of people will be feeling anxious like me. If I try to be friendly and pleasant, people have responded well to that in the past - I should be able to do it this time as well."
- Irrational: "I'm going to fail my exams."
- Rational: "I have been doing some revision. I've done OK with the course work. The work is supposed to be more challenging. I've passed exams before."
3. Distract yourself
Some people find it more effective to distract themselves from their frightening thoughts, perhaps by repeating a calming phrase to themselves such as "Stay calm and relaxed. I will feel better soon", or by doing mental arithmetic or saying the alphabet backwards. You can also try to distract yourself by focusing your attention on some external stimulus such as listening to a conversation, watching television, or becoming aware of what is going on around you. If you can stop attending to frightening thoughts, these will no longer be able to fuel your anxiety. N.B. This is not the same as avoidance! It aims to help you stay in the stressful situation, not to opt out of it.4. Face the situation
Confronting, rather than avoiding anxiety-provoking situations also helps. When anxiety occurs in certain situations it has become a learned response to those situations and it is a question of learning a new (relaxed) response. If you make yourself stay in the feared situation for long enough, the anxiety will reduce over time until it is completely extinguished. You could draw up a hierarchy of your feared situations, confronting the least threatening situation first and experience the diminution of your anxiety in that situation before progressing to a slightly more threatening situation in your hierarchy.5. Learn to relax
The physical symptoms of anxiety occur because adrenaline is released by the nervous system into the blood stream and affects organs such as the heart, stomach and muscles. Relaxation and breathing exercises can help you to control these symptoms. You can learn how your body feels when it is relaxed if you tense different parts of your body (e.g. arms, hands, legs, neck, shoulders, forehead) for a few seconds, and then allow them to relax. Try to keep your breathing slow and regular so that you do not hyperventilate, which makes the physical symptoms worse. It may help you to join a relaxation class. Relaxation exercises need to be practised initially when calm - you will become better able to relax in stressful situations with increasing practice.(published with permission in writing from:http://www.counselling.cam.ac.uk)
