Anxiety, how you can help yourself

Depression, Anxiety, Anxiety disorder, Anxiety attacks

First of all, you need to know that anxiety is entirely normal. Everyone feels anxious when they are in a stressful situation where they feel vulnerable, so being anxious does not mean that you are 'weak' or 'abnormal'. In fact, a certain level of stress can be very helpful - it can motivate us, be exciting or invigorating, and enable us to reach higher and meet new challenges. After all, if we never tackled things that we found challenging, that we were uncertain that we could succeed at, we would stop learning or moving on in life. However, it is also the case that too much stress can seriously interfere with living a normal life. Nonetheless, acute anxiety states are time-limited and will start to fade away in a relatively short period of time. Even when the anxiety is intense, you can still probably function better than you expect, and other people are often unaware of how you are feeling.

Here are some strategies you can try for yourself:

1. Review the stressful circumstances in your life

Think about all the things that are going on in your life which might be causing you stress. When possible, try to find practical solutions to reduce these sources of stress. This might include:

saying "no" to things you do not want to do
giving up unnecessary, time-consuming activities and responsibilities
confronting work problems by talking to your tutor, director of studies or supervisor/manager
using an organised and realistic plan of action to tackle projects
asking for information or feedback if helpful
discussing a relationship problem.

Be prepared to acknowledge what feels right for you and be kind enough to yourself to respond to your needs. Increase your ability to cope with stress by looking after your health, which includes trying to eat well, exercise regularly and rest properly. Support from other people is very important, so spend time with supportive friends and/or family members. Doing enjoyable activities, either on your own or with other people, is also important, so continue with your hobbies or interests and consider taking up something you have been wanting to do for a while. If you are uncertain about what is making you anxious, talk this through with a counsellor to explore and understand the anxiety and how to deal with it.

2. A rational approach to challenging negative thoughts

When people are very anxious they tend to exaggerate how threatening a situation is, and to underplay how effectively they can cope with that situation. Our thoughts are distorted by our emotional state, and it can help to "stand back" and evaluate the situation more realistically when you feel calm. Below is a rational approach to put the fears into perspective, to challenge their validity, or to find an alternative view of your situation. Ask yourself questions such as these:

Are you judging yourself harshly?

Are you focusing on your failures and forgetting your successes? Have you managed to survive similar situations in the past (or even to succeed despite them!)? Are you judging your entire existence on the basis of this one event or one part of life, or are you expecting to be perfect?

Are you "catastrophising"?

Are you seeing things in all or nothing terms, or assuming that to not succeed would be an absolute catastrophe?