Post natal depression, even men suffer from it!
How many times do we see a mother with a baby on the bus or walking by with a pram and say, “What a lovely baby! Enjoy this time as it goes so quickly and is so precious. I wish I could go back to this time”? Society expects mothers, and fathers, to be happy, to be enjoying life with their adorable baby. Yet 10-15% of new/recent mothers have Post Natal Depression, which blights their lives and ruins their time of getting to know and enjoy their child in these early and important developmental months. Post Natal Depression is sometimes described as the ‘smiling’ depression. This is not because it is an ‘easier’ kind of depression, but rather because the sufferer feels she MUST be happy because everyone else is telling her that she should.“You think you should be happy because you’ve got a baby and everyone else is happy but you’re not coping” Mother with PND
At Depression Alliance Scotland, we often hear from mothers who have been diagnosed with PND who believe they are bad parents; that any problems are their fault; that other parents they meet are all coping and don’t have fractious babies. We hear from mothers who feel guilty and ashamed at feeling like this; frightened to mention it to anyone, especially health professionals, fearing they might even have their child taken away. However the simple facts are that mums with PND and some new dads who develop depression in the first 15 months of parenthood, are just as good and loving and caring as any other parent and do not need to feel guilty in having an illness which can and does happen to anyone.
What is Post Natal Depression?
PND includes the symptoms of depression in general, such as low mood; constant sadness without reason, appetite problems and general neglect of self and weeping. Babies usually wake in the night, tiring any mum and in addition depression often causes difficulty in sleeping leaving the mum even more exhausted. They may lack interest in the baby – again adding to the guilt. Some mothers fear they may harm their baby, but do not want to do so and it’s important to reassure the mothers on this and encourage them to discuss this with their health visitor or other local healthcare staff.Post Natal Depression should not be confused with the ‘baby blues’ where a mother may feel tearful in the first few days after the birth (though those having the baby blues may be at more risk of developing PND later). About 2-3 mothers in every 100 may develop the very serious puerperal psychosis in the first few days after birth and treatment for this may mean admission to hospital. Currently there is only one mother and baby unit in Scotland.
Having PND after the first baby does not necessarily mean it will recur with subsequent births (though extra support should be available). Indeed the mum may not have PND with the first baby but it may happen after a subsequent birth when extra pressures to ensure care of all children is given. Changes in hormones can contribute towards PND in some mothers but the illness can also arise because of various ‘losses’ when becoming a parent:
- Loss of confidence – looking after your baby can be a very steep learning curve involving the baby’s character too! A mother may have been skilled in her job of work and it is not easy to adapt to this completely different role.
- Loss of identity – we all carry and are seen to have various roles in our lives from daughter to friend to worker to partner – the role of motherhood is perhaps the most powerful role away from read more
